Recently, my mom bought me a coffee mug of a childhood icon, Red Green. The mug features a quote from Red Green which read, “If women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” While I would like to say that I wish I had more of a knack for home reno. projects like my wife, I will confess she’s better at it because of the whole “eye to detail” thing. She’s also good at the whole trimming of trees, bushes, and shrubs thing. Again, it’s because of the whole eye to detail thing. We found out a while ago that if I am given the task of pruning a tree, I will cut everything way back to the point of unnecessary.
With all that said, in reflecting on the past ten months of 2014, I have had plenty of manly moments, of which I am proud to share a few to defend my manliness.
1. I managed to navigate treacherous, snow-covered roads in one of the worst winters since ’76 in my two-wheel drive Oldsmobile without getting it stuck.
2. I pulled a half-rotted, dead cat out of the window well from my basement with only a plastic shopping bag around my hand. I then dug a 2 1/2 foot hole and buried the stupid thing. And then for the next two weeks, with the assistance of Sarah, we cleaned out a massive colony of maggots from our basement on account of the dead cat.
3. I taught Sarah how to properly use a cordless power drill to hang new coat hooks on our porch.
4. I brewed my first French Farmhouse Saison ale.
5. I got lost in downtown New Orleans.
6. I navigated without a map downtown New Orleans, all while really having to pee.
Updated at 8:47 EDT:
7. Mowing the lawn this summer, I ran over a rock. When I picked it up, I got an incredibly bloody, nasty cut on my finger. I swore, threw the rock, swore again, and then threw the rock one more time before going inside to clean and bandage the wound.
End of updated section.
My wife may not always find me handsome, but I hope/know she finds me manly/handy.
(Watch the segment beginning at 3:17, or the whole episode if you have the time.)